quixotic_sublickr

I have been curious about, interested in and turned on by spanking for as long as I can remember. I don't quite understand when spanking became interwoven into my sexuality but I know that my passion about it predates my adolescence. There are a few women that I grew up with who will gladly laugh and share that I was the horny little boy who was always volunteering to be the spanker or the spankee whenever spanking entered our play. I am the oldest of four and was raised by a very strict single Mom. I had a younger, disabled brother and two younger sisters. My relationship with my Mother was complicated. She was a "functional alcoholic" who was reasonably strict when sober with occasional more serious OTK hairbrush or wooden spoon spankings but she was an angry drunk, as the oldest who had the bad luck of being almost a twin of my natural father who abandoned a few months after I was born (leaving her pregnant with my brother), I was the most frequent target of her liberal belt use when drunk and angry. Besides the emotional/physical abuse she began sexually abusing me when I was about seven. This occured several times a week, including almost every Friday and Saturday night that I was home, and the lines between discipline and the sexual abuse/activity became very blurred. Although I didn't feel turned on by the physical abuse then, and still don't feel turned on by those memories, my sexuality was formed during those years and I am turned on by erotic stories that contain elements of punishment and sexual domination of boys by their moms, older sisters or other older women in their lives. After finding stolen panties that I was masturbating in/with when I was about 12 she spanked me very hard and would make me wear them sometimes. I think that has led to a growing interest in feminization/sissification/petticoat punishment that I've had over the last few decades.